[one-shot] Don't Touch Me

[talisa_ahn]

Title: Don’t Touch Me

Author: talisa_ahn

Pairing/Fandom:  No pairing.  EbiKisu fandom, Kitayama centric

Disclaimer: Why no, no I don’t own any of them, but I’m working on it so get back to me later.

Genre: Humor

Rating: PG?

Summary:  Kitayama should really just embrace his height.  Really, it’s not like he’s the shortest one in the company.

A/N:  I don’t quite know how this happened.  I was just sitting on the train with my mother of all people and I started typing this out on my phone.

 

 

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The first time it happens, Kitayama thinks that the old man must be very drunk. It’s late and he's tired, having had a long day of dance practices, so he just ignores it.  After all, the old man would be very embarrassed and it would just make both of their nights just that much longer.

The second time it happens the train is really crowded so he thinks it might have been a figment of his imagination. These things happen all time, but the guy next to him really needs to stop giving him strange looks.

But when it happens again, he's definitely sure, but now he doesn’t know how he's supposed to react.  He looks down again to make sure that yes, the salary man standing behind him is still brushing his chubby little fingers against his butt.

Kitayama's pretty sure that the correct response is to scream or call out or something, but then he realizes that he's a guy, and hey, isn’t it supposed to be girls that get groped by old men on the train?

Somewhere in the back of his mind Nika's face pops up telling him that maybe he should turn around and punch the guy in the face.  Kitayama scowls, thinking that Nika just wants to be able to point and laugh.

Maybe he'll just stop, the small beacon of hope prays, but when Kitayama looks down again, nope, that hand is still there.

A punch to the face would bring much unwanted attention, he reasons, and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he's pretty sure the main reason this guy thinks that he's a girl is because of his height.

 

“…”

 

That doesn’t make him happy.

As the train jostles to the side, Kitayama takes aim, stomping on where he assumes the man's little toe is, as hard as he can without making a scene.  He knows he's hit his mark when the man bends forward slightly, hissing a little.

Kitayama catches him with a fierce glare.  "Stop touching me, asshole."

The man's eye widen slightly as realization dawns upon him.

"Yeah.  Not a girl."

The guy takes a large step away and is probably thankful that the train doors choose that moment to open so that he is able to make his escape.

"Fucker," he mutters under his breath as the train pulls away, taking a small satisfaction in the fact that the man was limping a little as he got off the train.

Then next day is his day off, but the day after that, Kitayama is welcomed by cat calls and whistles.  He automatically whips around to look at Totsu who is already smiling in that apologetic kind of way.

Fujigaya slings his arm around his shoulder, all grins.  "I don’t know why I didn’t see it before, but you would make a fantastic girl!"

Kitayama just sighs.  "Did you really have to tell them?  Really?"

"Sorry," Totsu says softly.  "It slipped out yesterday when I was eating lunch with Gocchi, and then this morning they pulled me in here and, well, I was kinda trapped."

"Great. So Kawai knows too. Why don’t we just start the broken record of-"

"Kitayama is short, cute, and tiny like a-"

He cuts Kawai off by slamming the door in his face before he can sing 'girl', but he grimaces because, god dammit, he can still hear him through the door and he's pretty sure everyone else can too.

He looks at everyone still in the dressing room he shares with Yokoo and Fujigaya.  "Ok. Everyone get out so I can take a nap before practice starts."

Totsu gladly takes the opportunity to escape, wincing a little when he opens the door to the continuing choruses of Kawai in the hallway.  Taipi giggles while Yokoo hushes him loudly.

"Now, now… Let's be nice.  The princess is in need of some beauty sleep."

"Get. Out."

 

"Grouchy.  Must be on his period."

 

 

 

THE END

 

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A/N:    I’m tired… BUT I CAN EAT ACTUAL FOOD AGAIN~!  *rejoices*  Doctor on Monday told me I had an inflamed small intestine and was restricted to soup and udon for a couple of days.  Not happy.

 

In other news, taking orders for Playzone and Tegomasu.  Lemme know if you’re interested.

Comments

[laruku05.livejournal.com]

lol I know how much you LOVE udon XD Yeah Mitsu's short, but we're still shorter >.> He should stop complaining ^^ I still can't believe you wrote this on the train with your mom 0_o

[talisa-ahn.livejournal.com]

Neither can I. She kept asking who I was texting cause it was a really long. haha... I told her you. And yeah. Love udon right? >.>

[snowqueenofhoth.livejournal.com]

Aww, cute. I love the end, especially. How many girl jokes can they make at his expense? Hee! Poor Mitsu. Can't even sleep through that one. ;)

[talisa-ahn.livejournal.com]

It's probably endless... especially when it comes to those guys. Poor Mitsu indeed! haha...

[keeconk.livejournal.com]

Damn!! This is really good and funny!! Yes yes! It's about time that everyone notices that kitayama looks like a girl sometimes~. *points at my own icon*.

[talisa-ahn.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Poor guy's actually been gropped on a train before... but you can't really blame the old men for thinking he's a girl. We've all seen the clothes he wears outside of JE. haha...

[diamondsjack.livejournal.com]

And thus the real reason he cut his hair short and dyed it back to black surfaces! 8D Well, no~ but ahaha. xD This was adorable. ♥ Somehow, I most love how Tottsu sold him out.

[talisa-ahn.livejournal.com]

Haha... well, whatever the reason, I hope it stays for a long time cause black hair on Mitsu is hot.

And Totsu always seems to be your favorite in my fics. ^^

[supermoua.livejournal.com]

That was so cute!! ^-^ In fact Kitayama is one of my favorite because of his height!

Love the way you joke on him, espacially the last one! :D

[talisa-ahn.livejournal.com]

Yeah. My attraction to Kitayama is cause of his dancing and that has a lot to do with his height.

Haha... thanks. It was fun.

[shinju-boojae.livejournal.com]

Hiro~ ><
but recently Hiro really look like a girl ne
sometimes i thought that Hiro and I have the same face 555

Oi! Hiro don't worry ne I love you cuz you're short My princess X'D

[talisa-ahn.livejournal.com]

Lookin less girly with the black hair, but he was definitely getting there before that. haha...

[awfullyordinary.livejournal.com]

oh me gosh! Is he really that short? (cos I thought he was tall *knows nothing...*) hahahahah

I couldn't stop smiling my whole time reading so thanks for sharing!

[talisa-ahn.livejournal.com]

He's maybe 168cm (5'6")? Not incredibly short, but compared to some of the other JE boys... Of course, he's not the shortest (Yasu of K8 is 164cm), but rather short for his unit. ^^;

And the only one I've actually heard complain about getting butt grabbed on the train, so... haha...

[meteora-wings.livejournal.com]

I come across your LJ today and really really love this fic ~XD Hiro is so cute :">
Sorry for asking but did you say that Hiro complained about being butt-grabbed ~XDDD? OMG~~~

[talisa-ahn.livejournal.com]

It's been a really long time since then so I don't know where I heard about it.

I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for commenting!

[rim1789.livejournal.com]

LOL super cute ^^ Poor him xDDD

[talisa-ahn.livejournal.com]

Oh wow. I was surprised to get a comment on a fic that I wrote such a long time ago, but thank you! I really appreciated you commenting. :)